To Love is to Heal: A Hellion & X-23 story
by Harbinger Of Kaos
Summary: What If Laura had taken longer while in Hellion's room that night she left Utopia, this story explores that path and how two wounded souls came to heal one another and find something they had been missing in their lives. Starts AU and will later shift to CROSS. READ A/N AT THE START OF CHAP 1. HELIX pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Hellion & X-23: To Love is to Heal.

A/N: I don't own anything you will read here. Despite all my efforts, outside aid and certain computer software's there will probably be typos, misspelling, pacing issues, mixture of past, present and possibly future sentences in random parts. You have been warned.

And finally: IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, DON'T READ IT! Ok? Ok! ^_^

First off, I would like to give my apologies for not publishing at the start of the week like I promised, it is due to the fact I had a situation come up at work. The kind of situation that needs immediate action or the word's "lay off's" and "pink slips" start popping up, and I really can't afford to let that happen in lieu of the economy being what it is in my country.

Now just to clarify this is a Helix story, for those of you who aren't familiar with the term that means Hellion (Julian Keller) and X-23 (Laura Kinney) pairing. I can't speak for everyone but for some reason I am fond of this couple and sadly despites hints popping now and then in the comics I don't see it happening any time soon so fanfiction is my next best thing (unless of course something happens during Hickman's run of the X-men, fingers crossed!).

BTW shout out to onelildustbunni who is in my opinion the best there is when it comes to stories involving this mismatched pair and who inspired me to take a stab at it if you will pardon the pun.

And also shout out to mcknight93 who helped as much as he could despite his situations, I hope I can take what he taught and be a better writer for it and that he does well in all that he does.

Setting is on the eve of Laura leaving Utopia where she makes one last stop to see him while he sleeps (of course those who read the comic know he was awake at the time). My take is she takes too long and they have a talk that alters the course of events that come after.

Final comment, this story starts AU and then will become a crossover (See the chapter dedicated to them in my Ficlet collection…and yes, I am aware that was a rather brazen plug.)

Let's get this show on the road then!

"Speaking."

*Thoughts*

***SOUND EFFECTS***

_Locations._

-Communications. —

Chapter 1: A fresh start

**_Utopia, base of operations for the X-men, male dorms…_**

Currently a raven-haired teen was privately thinking on the possible reasons for being in the male wing of Utopia as she gazed at the sleeping form before her. This not being the first time she asked herself this very same question, the fourth to be exact and yet despite this seemingly endless loop her answer could be traced back to this odd that she would describe as heavy, something akin to having swallowed a rock and which kept her feet cemented to the ground.

Then again when it came to Julian Keller, AKA Hellion to some, she reached the conclusion that the young man currently sleeping before her would always manage to evoke such foreign feelings within her that left her quite vexed.

Their…relationship, for lack of a better word, tended to be a blend of both good and bad times or at least that was the best way she could describe it while trying to make sense of the chaos they lived in the aftermath of M-Day.

Their initial meeting between them had been marked with open hostility on his part what with the looks of disdain and the manner in which he said the word clone in his presence though not on the same level as Xander Rice or even Kimura she did find herself angered by his actions and in one case nearly acted on it when in the Danger cave that almost led to her removing a certain appendage from him…then came the night that changed it all, the night she came the closest to actually dying.

That night the fledgling team of teenagers once called the New X-Men by some of their fellow students had taken it upon themselves to rescue the technopath Forge from one of their mentors' deadliest enemies, the time travelling killing machine under the name Nimrod.

The results were near disastrous from the start for they quickly came to learn just how out of their depth they stood when fighting the mechanical monstrosity from the future.

During the battle she had volunteered to create an opening to enact Surge's plan to overcharge the tech Nimrod that enabled it to travel through time. And in spite of victory being achieved it came at a steep cost to which she could personally attest to.

Whether from prior experience or future knowledge Nimrod was ready with a counter attack tailored specifically for her particular mutation that saw her flesh cooked and flayed but made even worse by her healing factor being severely impaired, enough so that she could feel death come to claim her which it would if not for Hellion coming to her rescue.

In all her years trapped under the brutal hands of Xander Rice, Kimura and even Zebra Daddy she had undergone many forms of pain but all that paled in comparison the very moment Nimrod's attack struck.

Yet, through this agony she could hear his screams at someone to help him save her. Through her lidless eyes, she saw the look of worry and desperation directed at her. It was a look that told her that Julian wanted to save her much like her mother and Logan wanted to, or so she thought at that moment.

Her memories were fragmented but she did recall seeing Hellion stare at her with clear desperation and before she knew it they were both at school's med bay and Hellion screaming for someone to save her. Then came a surge of power and finally sweet relief when her wounds vanished as if never there and the pain receding into nothing than memory.

In the aftermath of her near death she was left feeling very confused. In view of the fact that no explanation being forthcoming nor why he had gone to such lengths to save someone he openly disliked nor why she took to watching him sleep from overtaxing his powers.

Her mind went over various possibilities in her search for answers. Friendship being the first idea to be discarded, given that unlike Dust or Mercury who were upfront in their intentions to be friendly with her he had been rather hostile upon her arrival.

The notion of some type of debt to be repaid was also ignored given that they had both aided each other previously both in the cave and in the Danger Room so that could not be it either, though given his actions she owed him her life and could be factored into her current vigil over him.

But that didn't answer her question of why he went to such extremes to save her given how he had overtaxed his powers to get them to the Institute so Elixir could save her.

From what she had come to learn thanks to her enhanced hearing which had allowed her to overhear Dr. McCoy explain to Emma Frost that after she had removed the psychic blocks that limited his powers he essentially gain the equivalent of adrenal booster to which the aftereffects of it were now being felt.

This only raised more questions that made her wish her cousin was here to help her better understand. Megan would often in the past aid her understand people in ways she couldn't while she struggled to become a real person as her Mother wished for her to be.

She also couldn't understand why the sight of Surge kissing him made her seek out the nearest bathroom and renew her ritual of cutting herself…however in retrospect she should have locked the door if anything so that Cecily not catch her in the act and covered in blood.

Then came the day The Facility kidnapped Mercury for her abilities. She and Hellion teamed up to save her, and she had regretted him seeing her unorthodox methods to obtain information from criminals. Though a part of her did feel displeasure when she caught him looking at her with fear and disgust.

Still he had remained by her side and protected her, though again while not needed it a part of her felt…happy that he did, especially when they were facing death in the form of multiple experimental beasts dubbed Predator X and going so far to refuse the option to leave her behind even in the face of all three of them dying at the creatures before them.

So much had happened to them that it almost felt unreal how they made it to this point in time in the current aftermath of saving Logan from the clutches of Hell. Now here she stands, before the unknown future while preparing to leave Utopia to both distance herself and also strive to make sense of her life.

*Should I speak with him before my departure? * She solemnly thinks whilst she looks back at him with a hint of yearning and somewhat dread.

*Why am I worried about what he thinks? Why do I care that he might hate me for leaving? * She thought to herself despite a twinge of sadness for not getting to say a proper farewell to him and others on the isle.

"You must _really_ like looking at me asleep huh, Laura?" His voice suddenly cuts through her thoughts making her curse her distraction while seeing him sit up on his bed and look at her calmly and with a hint of curiosity at her presence.

She had to force down the sudden bout of nerves that only he seemed to be able to cause. She just couldn't understand what it was about this boy that made her react so strangely.

"Earth to Laura, come in Laura." He said while he noticed her eyes looked distant which he has often come to consider a sign of when her mind wanders.

"I apologize for intruding, I shall leave." She finally commented as she turned to leave the room however she heard him move around.

"Laura, wait."

And once more she felt compelled to do so before she faced him.

"Yes?"

"You clearly look like you got something to want get off your chest, so why don't you tell me what it is." Julian said while he motioned to an empty spot on his left.

"I have nothing on my chest, Julian." She replied after looking down, missing his grin when he shakes his head at what he has pretty much come to expect from the girl before him.

"It's a figure of speech, Laura. Means you look like you got something important to say." the boy answered while he watched her sit next to him, "So…how are you doing?"

"I am well enough, Julian. How are you?"

"Well still a bit confused about what happened earlier and well you know…" He motioned towards the bandaged stumps where his hands once were.

The actioned made her shiver subconsciously despite the fact that she knew full well what it felt like to burn both at the merciless hands of her handler and from a Sentinel.

"But I don't think that is the reason why you were standing at my door looking like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders." He commented idly.

"…I just wanted to see you one more time." Laura replied while she looked away from him so he cannot see her struggle with those words.

*What does she mean by that? * Hellion couldn't help but feel a sense of worry slowly creep upon him.

"Did something happen, Laura?"

The girl opened her mouth to speak, but the words never came and he saw the uncertainty in her jade eyes. Something he found rather rare to be seen in her given that most of the time he saw her being quite confident in her actions, outside of those not involving social interactions at least.

"Listen I know that I can be an ass sometimes, but I meant what I said before. You're my friend Laura, and being your friend, you can tell me anything and I'll listen…hopefully offer some advice if you want." Julian commented with a friendly smile to her. Probably the only person on the island who can get him to do so.

"I would not want to bother you anymore than I have already done so, Julian."

"You're not bothering me and it's not like I'm going to get any sleep at this rate. Please trust me, Laura, I only want to help you."

She couldn't help it when his words draw out a minute smile on her lips before replies with what she thinks is the most appropriate manner.

"You are a good person, Julian."

"I wouldn't know about that, I mean looking back to when we first met I acted like such an asshole to you…" at this he looked down in regret while wishing he could take that back "…hell the only time I could recall doing right by you was during the free for all when we were still in Xavier's." At that his brow goes downward as he takes this chance to ask something had eluded him at the time and never got around to ask back when they still attended the school.

"Why did you freeze up anyway? I mean, not for nothing you were seriously kicking ass and taking names like nobody's business, and then you just stood there."

Laura paused before replying, she didn't want to cause any strife, but in the end, she felt honesty was the way to go.

"At the time Emma Frost psychically paralyzed me in order to fail the test and not be part of our old team."

Hellion's jaw dropped a bit until he gritted his teeth in anger.

*Of course, she would do that! I mean she made Ashida the freaking leader of the team to spite me because i didn't toe the line when ordered. * Once more he wondered what happened to the woman who he once admired and respected.

"Why would she do something like that?" He couldn't help but ask.

"She felt that due to my past with the Facility, I was a potential danger to the students…she was not wrong in her assessment." She murmured as she recalled how Cessily had been taken by Kimura where she suffered torture and experimentation in order to obtain a sample of her Mercury for the monstrosity called Predator X.

"Bullshit!" He vehemently denied, making her look at him with wide eyes. He took it a step further by using his TK like a makeshift hand to grasp her shoulder to show she could face him properly.

"You had no way of knowing that shit would take place and I saw you do everything you could to save her. I mean I did get a bit freaked by some of it but in the end you saved her and protected her. Fuck what Frost, Noriko or anyone else thinks you are, I know you are a good…no a better person, better than even me or at lot of us here in this shithole."

Laura was not one who many considered capable of being rendered speechless much less stunned, she could frankly count the times such an event occurred in a single hand but Julian now had the distinction to causing both events in no small part to his words.

I would add Laura's physical reaction to his speech and then build on to her thoughts by seeing her features change to her current thoughts. This will help with the show and not tell.

"No, I am not, Julian. I have committed so many terrible acts and hurt a vast many people both willingly and not while also ignoring their innocence or lack thereof…I'm nothing more than a killer." The boy could practically taste the miasma of misery from the girl before him, still he continues by using his powers to draw her into a hug much to her surprise and confusion before he continued to speak.

"No, you aren't, Laura. If anything, you are incredible even if you can't see it yet. Most of us are too stuck in the past while we struggle to pick up the pieces of our shattered lives however you? You keep moving forward despite all the shit thrown your way to make something of yourself, hell I wish I could be even half as strong as you are instead of this broken thing sitting next to you."

Now it was her turn to be there for him, evidenced when she encircled her arms around him and held him close in support.

"You are not broken, Julian nor are you weak, not to me at least." The honesty in her words came out clearly when she spoke, more so when it came to him, and while she didn't know if that was the right thing to say but when he held her tighter, she felt she did good.

Minutes later they had separated and but still remained close to one another while still looking into the others face, or namely into their eyes.

"Julian, may I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Shoot what?"

"That's another expression, it means go ahead."

"Have you ever found yourself questioning your identity as a person?" Laura finally questions him while maintaining her current position and eye contact.

"Not one for easy questions, are you?" He replied rhetorically while he sported a small grin. Though he turned pensive while he thought about the nature of the question "To be honest, I have at times. Not wasn't that way at first for me."

"If I may, when did you feel that way?"

"When I got to Xavier's, I think? Before that, I thought I had it all figured out. I mean I came from a rich and connected family that made me feel like I was one of the 'cool' kids who had all the answers and had no limits…" there was no mistaking the bitterness in his tone at the end which made her feel concerned but let him continue "… What a fucking joke huh?"

She felt concerned, but did not deter him from speaking further.

"All that money came at a price Laura. Before my powers, I thought I knew who my friends were, but in the end, it came down to the family name and how they could benefit from it. And those connections I mentioned? When I used them to help my team all it got me was a wakeup call on how much I meant to the bastards that were my parents." She didn't need her sense to tell her how hurt he sounded by that last admission.

"Do you…think they did not care for your welfare?" She gently asked him.

"…before the money came in maybe, but after they made the deal with the Kingmaker everything changed, to blind and stupid until it all came crashing down on my head." He replied in a neutral tone though his powers did flare up while his eyes shone with emerald light.

Laura remained quiet in her thoughts while she contemplated how best to proceed until finally, she decided that it would only be fair to share something to him she had never really thought of in a while.

"I have often wondered if my mother cared for me on the same level like those I have seen when I escaped the facility."

*Or akin to Debbie and her love for Megan. * She thought to herself before continuing.

"I _know_ that she felt guilty about many things that happened during my stay at The Facility. As in their eyes a useful weapon to unleash and which they made sure I understood that. However, before she…left me she spoke about how she too loved me though I confess there were times when I questioned the validity of her final words." She ended softly while resisting the urge to tear up while pushing down the hurt that came when the images of her cold lifeless body rose up from the darker corners of her mind.

Julian looked to her briefly before thinking on how best to proceed. He was honestly surprised by the comment recalling the times there were he wanted to learn more of her.

*Clearly this has been there a while, but still…*

"Did she ever hold you when you were sad? Worry when you were not there?" He asked her calmly while also turning to face her, something she mirrored while her brow creases in thought while going over the questions.

Laura recalled the times after a mission or Kimura's beatings when Sarah would come to her and hold her, the way she gently cradled her wrist where her self-inflicted scars were or the time she would sneak in her favorite book and read it to her. After remembering these things, she looked to him and nods, this earned her a warm smile from him to her that sends tingles to her stomach.

"Then yes she loved you Laura, because that sounds like a loving mother to me."

Laura felt the wetness she had fought hard to suppress show in her eyes and quickly looked away, though Julian took no offense of course since this obviously meant a lot to her.

"_Thank you._" She whispered loud enough for him to hear her. He quietly accepted her words and let her regain her composure before finally broaching the subject he had been meaning to ask since the start of their talks.

"So why did you come to my room Laura? I mean don't get me wrong I think our talks have done us some good but we also strayed off topic." The former Hellion said to her, she in turn composed herself for what was to come.

"Recent events you were briefly involved in have made me question who I really am. Am I a weapon to be used? Am I a person? If I am a person, what kind?"

*Do I have a soul? * she can't help but wonder while she recalls her terrible encounter with the demonic entity that possessed Logan made her questioned if such a thing was possible for her.

"I have made inquiries from senior X-men such as Shadowcat or Psylocke, but their answers do not satisfy this need to know."

"Why those two?" Hellion asked though in the past he might have gone to Emma Frost but that path has long since ended. Frankly, the only one who seemed to be on speaking terms with the senior X-men was Pixie, so naturally he wondered why Laura would pick them.

"I believe Elizabeth to be my friend and Katherine's close association to Logan marks her a person to be trusted."

"Then shouldn't their opinions have more weight? I mean if they trust you and if they would go out of their way to give you answers, it means they care right?"

"I believe they do but still I am left feeling I must do more to come to the answers I seek, but while I ponder the means to do so I am also left with the feeling of unease as I realize that the actions I plan to take may end up hurting or alienating people I feel close to." Laura ends with some worry creeping into her voice.

Now Hellion would admit, in private of course, that he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but from what he heard and saw during their current talk he could detect her nervous tone as well as her shifting body language. Taking all that into account, well let's just say that you didn't need to be Reed Richards or Tony Stark to put two and two together.

"You're leaving the island, aren't you?" Silence was his answer yet it told him all he needed to know while he once more looked to the ceiling.

*I shouldn't have said anything. He will try to prevent my departure and when I rebuff his attempts, he will come to hate me. * She concluded sadly, when she feels him shift his body and prepares herself for what is to come…

"Can I go with you?"

…her head snapped so fast towards him that he winced when he heard a crack, still he pressed on before she could shut him down.

"Now I know you will list the number of terrible reasons why not but please hear me out ok?" He saw her eyes shift side to side before finally nodding in agreement, much to his relief before he continues with his argument.

"Now remember that we came to this shithole on the supposed belief that despite all the shit we've gone through before we were going to make a new start and all that crap." He really didn't want to sound bitter but after everything that had transpired, he just couldn't help it Yes, he had admitted that he's made his fair share of mistakes but still there was only so much he could take.

"Then what happens? We got some hired goons working for that whack job Osborn with his supposed X-men team that came to push kneel before his might. Then Hope comes back and we both know how that ended up with a lot of us hurt or dead…" She winced as he motioned his missing hands and the reminder of Kurt Wagner's and Cable's sacrifices to protect Hope Summers.

"…then after that lovely jaunt that we got that fucking bitch Selene come down on us with an army of zombie mutants…" and wasn't that particularly hurtful for him and the former Hellions/New X-men because Kevin Ford had been willingly helping the former Black Queen, which just served as another reminder to him of someone he should have looked out for and failed.

"…and then finally we get a visit from another army of undead only of the bloodsucking variety."

Laura recalled in detail Logan's pure _rage_ when it came to light that Jubilee had been turned, needless to say, no one wanted to be around the man during that time while they helped her deal with her new condition.

"So, knowing all that, can you look me in the eye and tell me I would be safe here."

She couldn't, she desperately wanted to tell him that yes he was safe and that she could leave without worrying about him and the others but the reality of the situation could not be denied, that mutant kind was looking down the barrel of a loaded gun that had already been fired multiple times and is only looking for the one shot to finish it off.

"To be honest Laura, I think I am safer with you because I know you'll have my back in a tight spot and because I want to help you after all you've done for us." That wasn't the only reason but he didn't feel it was the right time to broach the other more intimate reasons he wanted to join her in this quest of hers.

Laura for her part felt a warmth in her after hearing him say he trusted her with his life, regardless of the inherent worry that the Facility or worse Kimura would show up while he near her was ever present…however for once she allowed herself to be selfish.

"You must stay safe while we travel Julian and know that we may not be returning anytime soon or that there may be dangers that may be too much for us to handle."

Hellion would have done a fist pump had he been capable of it, so instead he smiles at her in thanks.

She looks away when she finds herself blushing before she speaks.

"We should rest, tomorrow we will have a lot of planning to do for our departure from the island." She comments while moving to leave, when Hellion found himself suddenly struck by a bout of who knows what when he blurts out…

"You can stay here!"

This causes her to raise her fine eyebrows and him to heavily blush.

*Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! * He chides himself but presses forward now that he's stepped in it.

"I-I m-mean, y-you're already here and it's late so…why not stay here? Less of a hassle, right?" He hated how his voice quivers at the end and more so because he has no f'ing clue what he is doing much less saying.

Laura mulled over his words and found logic in them even so a part of her feels there is more to this as her enhanced senses tell her his temperature has risen, has an increase in blood flow/adrenaline and finally an increase in pheromones but still…

"Very well I will." And with that she began to remove her jacket and skirt with no hint of discomfort of doing so before the male teen who felt his blood pressure sky rocket. Seeing in only a black sports bra and panties he could only think one thing as he gazes at her…

*She's absolutely perfect! *

*Does he find me visually pleasing?* She thought to herself while recalling that in the past when she worked as a prostitute she would often be leered at by both potential and actual clients, the actions that followed would leave her with a feeling of unpleasantness…but when Julian did so she did not feel any discomfort, only a rising heat in her chest.

*Is this feeling is also part of this _crush_ that Cessily referred to? * She wondered briefly while she lies back down on the bed next to him and lays her head on his pillow, unconsciously taking in his scent. Hellion snapped his mind back to reality and uses his powers to place the blanket over them before laying down as he faced her, briefly losing himself in the emerald pools that were her eyes.

"Goodnight Laura."

"Goodnight to you, Julian."

And with that both teens closed their eyes to rest, and somewhere during the night their bodies simply gravitated towards one another and with this simple act they would find their nightmares held at bay.

To be continued…

A/N: Well here go, the start of a new story, this will please some and anger others but the die is cast.

I wanted from the get go to establish that this is indeed going to be Hellion and X-23 couple so as to make sure everyone understands that from the start. There will be no third wheel, not love triangle (that means no young Scott or Warren, no Yuri between her and Jubilee, no Gambit going for a younger woman and don't tell me there are no fics about any of that ok? Because there are) and no breaking up because they are going to different places. That means he will not go to Jean Grey School and she will not go to the Academy and later be kidnap by Carrot Tops psycho cousin. What you see is what you get.

Also, just to give a heads up, in the future Hellion will have a…clash if you will with certain senior X-men and vent some grievances he has with them.

Out of respect I will let my readers know when it is coming, why you ask? Because I don't want to deal with anyone calling me out because I had him tell off a character they like (to the point of religious zeal) and later tell me to go fuck myself just because of what I choose to do with **my story** (I have also seen evidence of this as well, if you don't believe me look up the current comic book forums and how the X-fan base is tearing into each other over what recently happened in Hickman's books). I repeat, if you don't like what you are reading, don't read it and if you do not heed these words do not blame just because you didn't listen to what I said.

Finally on a sidenote, I know a lot of you readers want to see what is going on with my Halo fics, and like I have said before on another of my stories and the many PM's I have received about this matter, I am currently working on them and I do not know when I will finish the new chapters, since I personally do not adhere to explicit schedules because I do not keep to them ok? You have waited this long, I ask you to kindly and respectfully wait a bit more, please.

PEACE OUT!


	2. Chapter 2

Hellion & X-23: To Love is to Heal.

A/N: I don't own anything you will read here.

While taking a brake from my Halo works, I give you this new addition to my X-men story. As you will we have more interactions between our two lovebirds as well as the more alterations to cannon.

Let's get this show on the road then!

"Speaking."

*Thoughts*

***SOUND EFFECTS***

_Locations._

-Communications. —

Chapter 2: Cutting ties part 1.

_Utopia, Hellion's room…_

Laura Kinney for as long as she has lived, well she was simply a creature of habits, a trait coming from her unfortunate upbringing at the Facility where she was taught that timing was crucial for the mission her former handlers sent her on. So, as she left the land of dreams for the waking world she was surprised by a series of things.

First, it was several hours past her usual wake up time, normally being awake in the early hours of the morning.

Two, she was not sleeping in her room nor outside as she had taken to do in recent times on the Island.

Third, she was not alone as evidenced by the feel of someone holding her close as well as the calm soothing heartbeat she could hear as her head gently lay on the persons chest.

Fourth and final, the identity of the person who she was currently sharing a bed with was none other than Julian Keller given that his scent filled her nose with every breath she took.

That last point made her remember the events that took place last night, from their talks to their agreement to leave Utopia together. Though she still had doubts that it was the best course of action to bring him she found his arguments were sound and she would be lying to herself when reminded of the comfort she felt by his trust in her as well as enjoying the idea of having his companionship as they travelled.

Her inner musings however came to an end when she hears an increase in his heart rate which more than likely indicates him waking. True enough Julian slowly opens his eyes until his blue met her green, and for a brief moment he lost himself in those two eyes of jade thinking he was more than likely dreaming of the only girl he knew who had that beautiful shade.

Then the sensations of having her resting within his arms with her head on his chest hit and couldn't help but he stunned for a moment by how surreal this moment was before his mind reboots and pushes onward, later he would have plenty of time to process this in private but for now time to focus on the present.

"Good morning Laura, sleep well?" He asks as he releases her and stretches while sighing as his back pops.

"Yes, yes I did." She replies kindly and honestly as she rarely felt so rested.

"Same here, didn't even get any nightmares this time." He idly comments.

"Nightmares?" The young feral mutant looks at him with mild concern. Hellion picks up on this and goes quiet for a moment before deciding to speak.

"Sometimes…when I close my eyes and start to dream, I'm right back to when the Sentinels were attacking us and then I see that bright light coming towards me and watch as my hands are vaporized. Other times it changes and it's my whole body that goes and as it happens it goes so slowly that I'm screaming and begging for it to end." She would have to have been blind to not see the haunted look in his eyes that hurt to watch from someone she often thought as normally confident.

Not really knowing what to do or say so she went with what she had done for Cessily after her rescue and hugged the teen despite their current position and state of dress.

Julian was briefly stopped short by her actions but then relaxed and let her do as she please, it was more than any of his former friends or mentor had done in wake of the attack.

Still there was one more thing he had to get off his chest.

"Sometimes…sometimes I also can't help but dream about what I did to that woman." He confesses with some dread.

"You mean Karima Shapandar?"

"You know I never bothered with her name, just how fucked up is that? I practically killed her and I don't have the decency to know who it was I hurt so bad she haunts my mind." Shame was clear in his words and in a way, she understood what he meant more than anyone else given what she did with her past.

"…what happens in those dreams?" She asks not quite sure why but felt that perhaps, like they did last night, talking about it would help him free himself of the weight these thoughts brought on.

"Sometimes it's like I'm watching from the sidelines only there is no Hope or that little girl and I'm hammering her with my powers despite the fact she is acting like herself near the end. Other times she appears fully human and begging me to stop hurting her or calls out to me to save her and all I do is destroy her while looking at her like she was nothing to me, like she is just a broken doll to be discarded."

Laura's heart hacked for him, she wishes she had been there that day to perhaps aid him in the battle, provide some strategy or dare say land the decisive blow instead of him. After all, her actions with X-force had already ostracized her from her peers, what was one more sin in a long list them? At least that was how she rationalized it despite the wrongness of her thoughts.

"I believe the best words to define your situation is that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time Julian, but I do not believe that it makes you a monster…not when there are worst things you could have done like I have done in the past."

Julian remained quiet as he processes her words, he was no doubt surprised by her comments but given what little he knew about her when he got a brief glimpse of the Facility, he could only imagine the things she has gone through.

"How do you deal with it Laura? How are you so strong in the face of these…these adversities?"

She did not know if he was asking in all seriousness or not and frankly, she didn't want to tell him how she had coped with the terrible things she had done. She did not believe that he would look at cutting himself or prostitution as a positive way to cope so she just continued to hold him as that seemed to relax him and also, she derived a sense of satisfaction that he did not rebuke her actions in fact...

*God damn I wish I had hands right now! * He thinks regretfully as Laura continues the hug…though he hopes she doesn't notice the _other_ reaction his body was having to her presence. She did of course but chose not to comment on it as she logically sees it as a biological reaction and nothing more…though she was flattered and fought to keep from blushing... and moving of course.

"We should get up and refresh ourselves if we wish to plan our departure from the island." Laura was already moving as she says this.

Hellion silently agrees as he sits up in the bed while covering his lower half. It didn't help as she watches her bend down to pick up her clothes.

*Focus!* He chides himself.

"Meet you at the cafeteria?" He asks to distract himself earning a nod from the girl who finishes putting on her shirt and jacket. As she stepped out of his room she was spotted by both Anole and Rockslide who were quite surprised to see her in the boys section and more so coming out of Hellions room, not thinking anything wrong with it she nods to them in greeting while she makes her way out not knowing the gossip mill would be working overtime with this latest faupax.

Hellion in the meantime got out of bed, used his powers to set everything in order and then headed for what would be a _very_ cold shower while also use the time to think about what he would need to take with him for their departure as well as something that had been on his mind as far as helping Laura goes, it was the least he could do after all she had endured as well as comforting him.

_Later at the mess hall…_

After getting his morning rituals done Julian headed to meet up with Laura and hash out the details of their departure.

*Here's hoping we don't get bothered like last time. * He thinks as he scowls at the way they were interrupted the last time by Nori and some of the others. He soon spotted the raven-haired girl sitting alone, as was often the case nowadays, eating a plate of fruit.

*Maybe I should start cleaning up my act, I mean I'm already an amputee, don't need to add alcoholic with a busted liver to the list. *

He thinks to himself before grabbing a juice, cereal and milk then heads towards her, she soon met his gaze and gave a small smile towards him that improved his mood.

"You look better Julian." She comments.

"A good night's sleep, a nice shower and the knowledge that we're leaving this deathtrap does wonders." He replies as begins to eat.

"Was being here truly unpleasant for you?" She asks in curiosity.

"Not at the start but factor in the Sentinels, evil Avengers, the vampires and the Zombie X-men and the experience got bitter fast." Hellion replies with a look of disdain as he remembers all the incidents that have happened over the course of their stay on Utopia. However, he didn't want to bring down the raven-haired girl before so he decided to keep the conversation going.

"What about you Laura? Anything you're going to miss?"

"I will miss Cessily, Sooraya and Miss Braddock." There was a hint of melancholy when she said this and Julian was quick to pick up on it.

"The first two I get but I didn't know you were familiar with Psylocke." He says in surprise as to his knowledge the only one of the former New X-men who was on speaking terms with the elder members was Pixie.

"I had arrived at the Institute before you and briefly roomed with her, we even had a mission together soon after she was resurrected…she was nice to me." She ends serenely as she remembers those times fondly.

"You don't talk to each other anymore?"

"Not as much, she is very busy and I do not want to impose."

"You should go to her then, explain why you are leaving as well anything else you feel she should know…in fact you should talk with Cessily and Sooraya too, leave with no regrets if you will right?" Hellion kindly explains to his friend who looks thoughtful before nodding, she was about to ask him if he had something to do when they were interrupted.

"Well lookie here, Utopia resident psychos, planning your next hit?" The blue haired Surge snidely comments as she looks at the two with disdain.

This was another instance of Hellion wishing having hands to bury his face in them instead of just lowering his head.

"_It is still too early for this shit._" He whispers, Laura of course heard but chose not to comment on it.

"Nah we were thinking of knocking over some liquor stores, followed by burning down an orphanage and maybe cap off the night with burying you alive and them bang over your makeshift tomb." Julian replies in a dry tone as he drinks his juice while Noriko fumes at his blatant mockery.

"Hello Noriko." Laura greets respectfully in turn despite her recent altercations with the electric speedster, she understood that her actions on X-force did not earn her any brownie points with the others bus she did not hold this against them.

"A little birdie told me he saw you leaving the boy's dorm. So, you decided to shack up with the only guy who would not mind being with an assassin hmm?" Surge asks with disdain which did hurt her a bit, Julian of course did not take this lying down.

"Yeah, she bunked with me for the night so what? It's not like we did anything or is that a crime now Ashida?" Hellion sneers.

"It's against the rules, not like I expect someone like you to understand." The blue haired teen spat at the telekinetic who went quiet while his eyes narrowed.

"…you fucking _hypocrite_."

That threw Surge for a loop while Laura watches in worry, despite everything she did not want any conflict between the two formers teammates especially if she was the cause of it.

"You stand there preaching about rules when back at Xavier's in the squads you practically flipped them bird back then. Shit, when you were made leader of the team you also broke them and nearly got us killed!" Julian shouts as he stands up and looks the girl dead in the eye as he says this, Surge reeled from the accusation but seeing others look towards them rallied herself to not look weak, unfortunately Julian was not about to let up.

"Laura nearly got fried by fucking Nimrod, hell if it wasn't for Josh she would have died! And let's not forget your oh so brilliant idea of looking for Hope which ended up with me getting turned into a goddamn shiskabob!" He used his TK to lift his shirt to expose his abdomen where some scars could be seen, Elixir had tried his best to heal him but exhaustion prevented him from fully removing the grizzly reminder of his encounter with the killer cyborg.

Surge sputtered but, in the end, kept her mouth closed as Julian eyes took on an emerald glow.

"Laura doesn't deserve to take your shit just because you are too stupid to realize that what she did was under orders from Summers. You want to take issue with that then go bitch at him not her or so help me I will show you just how strong I've gotten after all the fucked-up shit I've been through."

Surge was visibly torn between taking him up on the offer of violence and urge to leave, in the past they had clashed plenty of times though it rarely got physical, but the reminder of recent events shook her confidence and promptly made her turn around and leave as quickly as she dared while trying to maintain an air of dignity.

Julian powered down and sat while looks at him in surprise.

"If I'm going with you Laura then I need to pull my weight, that means watching your back while you watch mine." Was all he said as he resumed his meal. Laura didn't say it out loud but she was touched by his actions, which reaffirmed her need to do something to help him as well.

After breakfast was done and they hashed out the basics for their plan they left, though through the planning process there was something in the back of her mind ever since the confrontation with Surge. Knowing she was free for the rest of the day she decided to approach Julian with what she felt was a means to repay him as well as perhaps help him gain a measure of peace if not closure.

"Julian, earlier you said I should speak with those I am acquainted with in order to both have peace of mind and closure before our departure." She began, earning his attention.

"Yes, I did."

"I would ask if you do not have anyone you wish to speak to in order to obtain the same?"

Julian moved to reply that "no he did not" but stopped when he allowed himself to fully grasp what she was asking. Thinking it over there were some people he feels he should at least apologize to for acting like such an asshole to while others he wished to confront, and there was…

"I guess I do but there is no way I could get near one of them without getting caught." He replies to her calmly and with a hint of regret.

"…I can help you get to her if you permit me to." She says with determination as she was already mapping out the necessary routes to achieve their goal.

That surprised him in all honesty but after thinking it over this was probably his best chance.

"Now?"

"Yes,"

"…lead the way Laura."

She nods in return and began to lead them to the medical/science division of the island where one Karima Shapandar now dwelled.

_Med/Sci building…_

After bypassing cameras and the occasional X-man on watch duty or helping as staff the two teens arrived at their destination, the room holding the stasis tank where comatose Karima Shapandar now resided.

Laura chose to stand watch while Julian slowly approaches, he takes in her silent form wondering just how much he hurt the woman in his bout of anger. She did not look worse for wear but that did little to alleviate the guilt he felt.

*God this seem so much easier in theory. * He can't help but think as he struggles to find the words to say. Laura wanted to help him but felt this was his test to face, she already felt she was intruding but remained steadfast in her decision.

"H-hi Ms. Shapandar."

*Fucking brilliant Julian, just channel your inner Santo why don't ya! * He chides himself before pushing forward.

"I don't know if you can even hear me through all that but…" his face tensed as he pushes onward "…but on the off chance you can I just, I just want to say how sorry I am."

It was as he began that Laura turned towards the entrance as she hears footsteps. Sniffing the air around her tells her it is one of the scientists normally found in the labs, in this case it is one Kavita Rao.

The good doctor was looking at some papers in her hands when she stops as she hears someone ahead talking. While it wasn't uncommon for Hank or Dr. Nemesis to be looking over the human/Sentinel hybrid the voice sounded much younger and yet familiar.

Peering through the doorway she is surprised to see Julian Keller and Laura Kinney inside with the latter placing a finger on her lips as a the universally known way to call for silence.

Curiosity getting the better of her she agrees while the young man continues to speak to the comatose woman.

"There is so many reasons I could give you for why I did what I did on that day but in the end, it was because I let all my anger, hatred and bitterness come out then used you as a convenient target. You didn't ask to become what you were just as much as I didn't ask to be abandoned or crippled, and to be honest I should have been better than that instead of lashing out." His head was bowed in shame and guilt as he spoke, both women could tell he meant what he was saying.

"If I could take it all back I would, hell I would trade places with you if that would make up for what I did…but I can't, I can't do any of that so I hope this is enough and if you ever wake up I will gladly take whatever punishment you think of to even things out between us if that is how you feel."

"A noble sentiment Mr. Keller but I doubt two wrongs will make a right." The doctor finally spoke, surprising the young man as he swiftly stood and faced her.

"Uh… Dr. Rao? Um how long…?"

"I arrived just as you began your talk with Ms. Shapandar though Ms. Kinney requested, I remain quiet while you spoke…" as she finishes, she gives him a considering look "…you surprised me Mr. Keller."

"I know what you mean and I guess I deserve that; I was bastard to you to after you tried to help me. If it means anything, I am sorry I lashed out at you and wrecked your stuff."

"By how you look I can tell you are sincere in your words Mr. Keller and I am not one to hold a grudge so I accept your apology, though in retrospect I should have considered your emotional state when I approached you. I have never dealt with cases such as yours but it is not unreasonable given what you went through that you would react in such a manner, that all said if you will permit me a moment of your time I would ask if you would like to try again with the prosthetics?" The doctor kindly asks him to which he was surprised by both her forgiveness and her renewed offer to give him some semblance of hands.

Julian looks to Laura who in turn nods at his unasked question.

"Sure, can Laura come though?"

"I see no reason why not, please let us adjourn with the others at Hank's lab." The woman replies with a pleased tone as she leads the two teens to their destination where they find Beast along with Dr. Nemesis and Madison Jeffries.

"Good morning Dr. Rao, I see you've brought visitors to our humble workspace." Hank greets while Jeffries waves at the two teens and Nemesis just looks with mild curiosity.

"Good morning to you all as well. I ran into them and took the opportunity to once more offer Mr. Keller our aid with his condition."

"I see, are you certain of this Julian?" Hank asks the young man.

"Yeah, I've had some time to think and realized I was way out of line that day when she was only trying to help me." Hellion replies honestly to the group.

"Very well then then let us run some tests and see what we can do for you." The blue furred genius kindly offers as he orders the others to prepare the equipment needed.

Laura was happy for Julian and he in turn felt lighter and perhaps a bit hopeful.

*I just hope the time we still have here is just as positive. * He can't help but think as he gives Laura a side look and silently thanks her for being there for him, once more vowing to help her for she has done for him.

To be continued.

A/N: As you can see, we have Hellion coming to Laura's defense and him showing remorse for some of his actions in regards to Karima and Doc Rao with Laura's help.

Of course, and this is just to give fair warning, next chapter has him vent some anger to people he felt wronged by or who wronged Laura. I say this because I just want people to be ready for when I have him go to town on Summers, Frost and Howlett. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Laura will also get a chance to clear the air with Mercury and Dust as well.

Finally, and because I can't help but put in a shameless plug here, got to two chapters for my ficlet story in case anyone is interested and yes, they are YAHF shots so you have been warned.

Back to Halo for then.

PEACE OUT!


	3. Chapter 3

Hellion & X-23: To Love is to Heal.

A/N: I don't own anything you will read here.

So, first off, happy holidays and a prosperous New Year to you all! This is just the first gift I have for my readers, tomorrow you get another.

So, I think I can safely assume I am going to be raked over hot coals for what I am going to have Hellion do here. Now you are of course entitled to your opinions but I would like to think common sense will prevail and stop any nasty comments from occurring…then again, I have been proven wrong before much to my regret.

Let's get this show on the road then!

"Speaking."

*Thoughts*

***SOUND EFFECTS***

_Locations._

-Communications. —

Chapter 3: Cutting ties part 2.

_3 weeks later, Utopia, Med-bay…_

Julian was looking at the metallic limbs that he was given by the X-club weeks ago with an odd sense of curiosity and wonder, while it was true that he couldn't really feel anything he grabbed with the hands a part of him felt better knowing they were there despite their artificial nature.

"How have you been adjusting to them, Julian? Do you feel any discomfort at all?" Hank McCoy asks while Kavita was monitoring the data she was receiving from a nearby computer terminal.

"No, not really, I mean I can feel them where they connect plus the weight though it is weird that when I hold something, I am expecting to feel something but don't." Julian honestly replies as he activates his powers and the hands disconnect from him.

"That is understandable Julian, your mind is trying to process something while lacking the tools to do so. Tell me when you use your powers does anything change?" The cat-like mutant asks while taking notes.

"Well, when I use my powers it does give me a sense that something is touching my TK field like I'm getting some…"

"Feedback?" Laura supplies as she had been keeping him company all through the begging of the operation to his rehabilitation.

"Yes, thank you, feedback through my TK though it's not the same as when something touches my skin there but i can tell when something is there." The young man confers to the two doctors who make a note of that.

"Interesting, we shall have to experiment further with that, perhaps through your powers, we may be able to either simulate your sense of touch though given your plans we should get as much data as possible while we can." Hank replies while Kavita nods in agreement.

"And on that topic, how is the psychic barrier holding up?" She asks the young man.

"So far so good, I haven't felt any intrusions when I'm near any of the telepaths on the island."

When Julian had privately requested to both Doctors McCoy and Rao if they could outfit his prosthetics with some form of TP blocker, they naturally had to ask why he would request such a thing. After conferring with Laura on whether they should reveal their plans to leave and getting the two scientists promise to not speak of what they were about to be told they explained why they were leaving and why he wanted to have a means so as to prevent his former mentor from finding out.

The fact was that after waking up from being skewered by Deathstrike and told by her that the X-men were done in the aftermath of Hope's Summers birth and time traveling exile broke whatever trust he had left in Emma Frost.

Where was she when he had been abandoned by his family? Where was she when he got his hands blown off? Where was she when he was getting dressing down by Cyclops or threatened by Rogue (though the last two he privately admits he deserved to a certain extent)? Nowhere that's what he believed.

He did not want her anywhere near his head or trying to tell him what he could or could not do as she was still his mentor or even his mother…Hell, he didn't want her near Laura to be perfectly honest given some of the stories Cess told him after her rescue.

The two doctors privately discussed his request before agreeing to it with the promise he would let them put some form of emergency beacon and tracker to make sure they were safe or could call for help.

He agreed in turn after discussing it with Laura and after the operation and the fitting of his new artificial appendages he often passed close to several of the Islands telepaths with not a sign of being detected when he practically broadcasted his thoughts for any with the capability to hear to do so.

"Pretty good actually, will see how it holds out when I visit the Cuckoos later."

"…more goodbyes to deliver?" Hank calmly asks as he tended to do after it was explained to them why they were leaving. A part of him worried for them because that was just his way after all they had suffered, but the logical side of him did not find fault in their reasons as Laura wanted to find out who she was and Hellion was a mixture of wanting to help her and to leave the place he felt ostracized from.

There was also the fact that he felt the X-men had failed them both by letting things go so far that necessitated the return of X-force or their lack of foresight in regards to the Sentinel virus infecting Karima.

*How did things start to go so wrong for us? I know failing Wanda was just the start but how did we let things degenerate to the point we have failed our wards? * The blue-furred scientist sadly thinks to himself.

"More like another long-delayed apology, I just hope she is in a good mood." Julian confesses as he rubs the back of his neck with his new appendage.

That drew curious looks from the three but no one says anything much to his delight, turning towards Laura he decided to broach a subject she had been having trouble with.

"So, did you get your chance to talk to Psylocke?"

"No, with our preparations and her hectic schedule I have not been able to speak with her." There was a hint of sadness in her features at that confession.

"I'm sorry to hear that Laura, we still have time though so don't give up hope yet." He reassures her as he places a hand on her shoulder which she briefly smiles in thanks much to the amusement of Hank and Kavita.

*It is good to see her smile more. * Hank can't help but think, he had never approved of having her join X-force once the team became known and had been one of the points of contention between him, Cyclops and Wolverine. Frankly the latter disappointed him the most after how adamant he seemed when he first brought the girl to the institute to get away from that life only to fall back in thanks to the former.

"If you mean to speak with her, I could help if you like Ms. Kinney." Hank offers to the girl who while thankful did not want to bother man, after all, he had done for them. Hellion just shakes his head; he had come to realize Laura rarely accepts help because she thinks she doesn't deserve it.

*Time for a secret intervention.* Hellion quietly thinks to himself, he may be overstepping his bounds but he would be a piss poor friend if he didn't make the effort to help, though that would be after his newest venture as far as in dealing with three psychic sisters who may or may not nuke his brain.

*…sometimes eating humble pie can be a nasty bitch of a time. * He mentally chides before looking to Laura.

"You talk to Cessily and Sooraya yet?"

"No…Noriko has been preventing me from speaking with them." The young feral confesses.

"Laura, I told you that you need to push past her. I know it isn't your way when it comes to her but there comes a moment in time when she needs to be taken done a peg."

"But…"

"No buts Laura, you don't deserve to be treated like some kind of leper, you did what you thought was right at the time and went along with Summer's cockamamie plan out of a need to protect us, you shouldn't be punished for it."

_Later in the girl's dorm…_

"_This is stupid, this is a stupid idea._" He whispers over and over as he makes his way to the room the trio of telepaths known as the Stepford Cuckoos dwelled. He tried to remain nonchalant as he passed several girls on his way as well as their questioning looks.

Finally, he reached his destination and after taking a calming breath he knocks three times and waits.

"Who is it?" Three voices say in sync as was expected from the trio, though there was also a note of genuine confusion.

"It's Hellion." There was a pause from the other end of the door before it was opened by a blonde-haired blue-eyed girl.

"Keller? How are you blocking us? You don't have telepathy." The girl in question asks him with suspicion, not that it was unjustified mind you as living in a world with shapeshifting mutants/aliens, telepathic/supernatural body snatchers, advance/time-traveling cyborgs and others you tended to be a bit paranoid.

"I got no time to explain Phoebe, I need to talk to your sister Celeste." The young man comments as he chooses not to call her out on her slight surprise and guessing correctly which sister was talking to him.

"How do you know I'm not Celeste?"

"First because that's what someone trying to make themselves pass off as her would say and two there are other ways, so can I please talk to your sister? Preferably out of earshot." He asks again diplomatically; he would not help his cause if he snapped at them.

"…You do realize that we will know what is said regardless?" Another triplet, this one sitting on a chair before a desk and laptop comments.

"Yes Phoebe, I know that." This time he smirks as he sees them become openly surprised at his accuracy before the final triplet laying on the bed gets up and approaches, she nods at her sister before stepping out and closing the door.

"How did you tell us apart Julian? And how is it you are blocking us?" Celeste asks as both she and her sisters never expected him of all people to get it right.

"Is it really that important Celeste?"

"To us yes, even after all this time people normally get it wrong and we need to make sure you aren't Mystique or a Skrull."

"…ok I grant you that the last one is a valid point." He says before he raises his right gauntlet and presses a hidden button. Suddenly he is there whereas before he was just empty space so to speak to the girl, he then presses the button again and he is gone.

"Let's just say that I wanted some privacy in my own head."

The girl briefly nods at that though it now brings up the question of why he of all people would need a TP barrier.

"As for your other question, well um there is no easy way to say this but there are certain tells you girls give off that makes is it easier to tell who it is when you know to look for them."

"Really? And what are these tells?" Now Celeste was a bit skeptical, and through her link, she could feel that so were Phoebe and Irma, but she was also a bit curious.

"…ok but I can tell you that the other two aren't going to like what I am about to say." He warns before taking a deep breath.

"Phoebe has this look and vibe that makes her come off as the second coming of Frost…"

"WHAT!?" They hear through the door but still, he presses on

"…and Irma has this whole sheep vibe going on where she follows others but does not lead…"

"NO, I DON'T!" again the hear through the door.

"…and as for you, well you stand out as the nicer and compassionate Cuckoo." He ends with a hint of a blush on his face that Celeste mirrors.

*Oh, knock it off Celeste. * Her sister chides as they fume.

*Not my fault I'm the nice one. * She smugly sends back before taking notice of Julian looking at her in confusion.

"They didn't take it well did they?"

"Well in their defense nobody likes to be labeled." She replies with a shrug.

"Ain't that the truth," Julian replies with a hint of bitterness that made her wince, like many on the island the trio heard about what went down with the human/Sentinel hybrid and Hellion.

Despite an earlier incident with the raven-haired teen she still felt a modicum of pity for him, something her sisters chided her for but then again holding onto a grudge seem more Frost's style and that was a road she wanted nothing to do with.

"Why are you here Julian?" She finally asks to get back on track.

"…I came to apologize for how I reacted during that whole bone fire night we had, you were doing something polite for me and I shouldn't have snapped at you for that regardless of my condition."

With the barrier in place, she couldn't read his thought or emotions but his body language told her enough to show he was genuinely remorseful about the thing.

*Hellion apologizing? Now I know he is an imposter. * Phoebe mockingly says.

*Or a Skrull. * Irma throws a jab of her on.

*Quiet the both of you. * Celeste snaps back much to their surprise, she ignores this as she focuses on the apologetic young man before her.

"I don't mean to sound rude but I must confess to being a bit surprised by this gesture on your part." She winces as she says that, she meant what she said about not wanting to appear rude at his attempt to make peace with her.

"Yeah, you aren't really the first one to say that, I guess I must have been a real douchebag to get that reaction from several people." Hellion comments in all honesty.

*He was. * Her sisters spoke and again she quiets both much to their frustration and hers.

"Why are you doing this Julian?" She can't help but ask.

"I can't give the full story, not because I don't trust _you_ but well, I wouldn't put it past your sisters to do something to that will get Frost on my case out of spite." He confesses.

*He isn't wrong there. * Celeste thinks.

*Celeste! * Both sisters cry out at what they perceive as a slight against them.

"What can you tell me then?"

"That I had an epitome…"

"Don't you mean epiphany?"

"Yeah sorry, an epiphany that's pretty much shown me that I was pretty much well on my way to either being homeless, wasted and drunk once Summers had enough of my shit, a textbook emo punk or look for a way to put myself out of my and everyone else's misery," Hellion confesses much to the girls worry.

"Took someone who had it much worse than me to help me realize I needed to get out of my pity party and get my shit together. Starting with apologizing to people I lashed out against when they just wanted to help me."

"Well then I thank you for that and also I, I forgive you, Julian." The girl replies with a small smile, that alone made the boy give off a breath of relief.

"I'm glad I got this done before I left." It took him a second before he mentally cursed up a storm.

"What do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going?" Celeste quickly asks once the surprise wares off.

"Um…"

"Julian you can tell me."

"You're not the problem Celeste." It took her a second to get his meaning.

"They'll behave." She says though telepathically she was giving her sisters a stern warning.

*Behave you two. *

*Who died and made you head sister in charged? * Both sent back to her.

*I'm trying to prove we are better than her and you two want to emulate _mother_ dearest, that's why. *

"Let's just say that I owe the person I spoke of earlier. They are leaving this place and I want to repay them by going along if that makes sense." He tells her honestly though a frown marks his features at his next comment.

"Besides it's not like anyone will miss me, after all, I'm the resident ticking time bomb waiting to go off."

Celeste winces at his bitter tone, clearly, things had escalated to the breaking point for the former Hellion/X-man.

"So, you plan to just slip away? No goodbye note for your former friends and teammates? No final jab at your detractors?" She asks curiously.

"What's the point? Santo, Cessily and the others won't give me the time of day anymore. As for Nori and her group of holier than thou prick's? They can go fuck themselves for all I care."

Celeste felt bad for Julian but chose not to express it, she knew from experience that pity would only do more harm than good so she decides to go for a simple approach and hugs him much to his and her sisters' shock.

He eventually reciprocates much to her relief though she can still feel some awkwardness in his actions so she breaks off first.

"You look liked you needed that."

"…thank you," Julian replies in all honesty.

"Julian, it doesn't take a psychic to see you aren't happy here so if leaving with this person can help you feel better then go for it."

"You aren't just saying that because you know it will piss off Frost are you?" He jokingly asks with a hint of a smirk.

"Drat! You've seen through my evil plan." She didn't need powers to feel her sister eye roll.

*Get a room why don't you? * Irma comments.

"Take care of yourself, Celeste." Julian comments kindly, though as he begins to leave, she is struck with a bout of sudden mischief.

*Ah what the hell! *

Julian and her sisters are caught off guard as the blonde suddenly grabs him and lays a kiss on his lips.

"Mmm." She can't help but moan before releasing him and rushing into her room.

Phoebe and Irma look at Celeste with wide eyes.

"So? I wanted to do that after he invited us to the dance, sue me!"

Outside Julian's brain finally rebooted as his eyes blinked repeatedly and his tongue ran over his lips.

"…_damn._"

*I will never understand women. *

With that last thought in mind, he lifts with a visible swag in his step.

_Utopia's mess hall…_

Laura for her part was undergoing her own challenge as she looks inside towards the small group of teens where Cessilly Kincaid and Sooraya Quadir were sitting with.

She had tried on multiple occasions to speak with them before she departed with Hellion but outside forces seemed determined to deny her, this would be her final attempt.

*You can do this Laura. * Julian's words rang in her head as she made her approach.

The group spotted her as she came towards them with Mercury and Dust looking at her inquisitively while Noriko scowls at the young feral mutant. She almost faltered but pressed onwards to her goal, taking calming breaths as Tanaka sensei taught her, she arrives before facing this new challenge.

"What do you want?" Noriko spat as she looks at her former teammate.

"Hello Noriko, I wish to speak with Cessily and Sooraya privately, it is urgent I do so."

"Whatever it is you can tell them with us around." The blue haired speedster snapped at the raven-haired teen.

"Noriko…" The young Suni girl began to speak but was promptly cut off.

"I don't want you alone with her, she may flip out and eviscerate you."

Laura would be lying if that comment didn't hurt her but still, she had to remain strong.

"I would never hurt any of you Noriko, I wish you could see that."

"You were on a hit squad Laura, you went on missions and killed people." Surge throws back at the teen who remains silent on the matter.

"I know that my past actions disturb you Noriko. If time permitted, I would explain the reasons behind them but that is a luxury I do not have, I am asking you to please let me speak with them and I promise you will not have to deal with me again." She ends with a bit of sadness that things have come to this point.

It was at this point that the Surge loses her temper and stands to face her fallen, in her mind at least, teammate and pokes her in the chest with her gauntlet covered finger.

"The only way you get to talk to them would be by knocking me out X."

Bad choice of words.

"Very well." Laura says in both seriousness and regret as with one hand she grabs the girl by the shirt to pull her forward while her other hand closes into a fist and races towards her target. It was quite a case of irony for a girl who could move at such high speeds to be caught so off-guard as face and fist collided.

Noriko spun around after the blow and was left sprawled on the table much to the shock of her friends and the people around them.

"Holy shit! X knocked Surge out cold!" Rockslide shouts for all to hear while David Alleyne moves to help his ex-girlfriend.

"Please tell her I am sorry when she wakes up." Laura comments in pure honesty before looking at the two girls she came to see.

Both of them saw the pleading look on her face and turned to one another in silent conversation. On the one hand, they did not completely agree with what Laura had just done but on the other hand, Noriko had basically brought this on herself after the young feral had basically come in peace. Finally, the two give nods in agreement and get up to see what this is all about and hopefully, something positive can be born from it.

Laura does not show it but she is relieved by this though one look at the still unconscious girl makes her wish things had not reached this point. She gives her one last look before leading the other two away and hopes no more unwarranted events interrupt her last talks with the people she cares for.

_Meanwhile with Hellion…_

*Why is it so hard to find her? I mean there can't be that many hot purple haired ninjas on the island, right? * Hellion thinks as he flew over the artificial island.

After his chat with Celeste, and taking a moment to clear his head from the kiss, he began his search for Elizabeth Braddock. So far, he has not had any luck in his search and was starting to wonder if he should ask around.

Just as he was about to land to continue his search, he spotted the X-jet landing, going for broke he moves towards it and lo and behold who happens to disembark but his quarry along with Storm, Rogue, Gambit... and finally Wolverine, Emma Frost, and Cyclops.

*Ah, fuck me sideways! * He curses as he did not want to deal with the last three, hell he has no desire to deal with Rogue after she made her stance clear with what happened with Karima.

As he watches them make their way inside, he makes his decision, no matter what questions or reprisals he would face his debt to Laura took precedence. With that in mind, he flew as quickly as he could to their location before he missed this chance.

*The things I do for a friend. * He idly thinks as he lands before the group of senior X-men. To say they were surprised by his arrival was an understatement, none more so than his former mentor and her lover.

"Mr. Keller? What are you doing here? And why can't I sense your mind?" The former headmistress asks him in genuine confusion as she knew full well, he lacked the proper training for mental shields.

Julian only gave her a glance before walking up to Elizabeth who also shared in Emma's confusion as well as wondering why he was coming to her. Anyone who knew her could say there was virtually no interactions between the two and therefore she wondered what were his intentions.

"I have the impression you wish to speak to me about something Mr. Keller."

"Not me personally miss, I'm just doing a favor for a mutual friend of ours who has been looking to talk to you."

"Oh? And who happens to be this friend?" she asks while racking her brain on who this person could be.

Julian thankfully had Wolverine at his back, hence the man in question couldn't see the boy pointed at him and mouth "Laura". With that came a look of recognition on the psychic ninja though now she was even more curious unfortunately Frost was quick to pick up on this.

"What is so urgent that miss Kinney requires an audience with Elizabeth?"

"What? Laura?" Wolverine voices now paying more attention and looking directly at Hellion.

Psylocke scowled as the intrusion and chiding her brief slip up, she sometimes forgot that Emma was also a telepath.

*A rather nosy one at that. * she openly thinks thus earning a scowl from the former Hellfire Queen.

*He is my student Braddock and anything involves that girl needs to be taken with utmost seriousness. *

*Given that his face looks like he just swallowed something utterly vile he would disagree. *

"What does she need to speak to me about Mr. Keller?" Betsy asks seeing no point in hiding things now.

"That's between you and her ma'am, I'm just trying to pay her back for helping me get my head on straight." Julian replies in all honesty.

***SNORT***

Unfortunately, two men, in particular, find that comment rather funny as both Gambit and Wolverine gives off a smirk that that notion.

"I'll believe that when pigs fly." Wolverine snarks despite Storm gave him a mild glare.

Now Julian tried to not let that get to him but after taking enough crap for his mistakes, having sacrificed so much, lost so much and standing so close to leaving the place he had come to loathe. Well everyone has a breaking point where they just throw caution to the wind and say…

"Fuck it." He mutters as he turns to face the others while a fine eyebrow rose from the purple haired woman who wondered what the teen was about to do.

"Never thought I would get to do this again until the docs gave me a new set of hands…" and with that said he held up both of his artificial hands and flips them the bird "…but both of you assholes can just sit and rotate."

It was a rare sight to see Wolverine and Gambit stunned into silence, normally it took some catastrophe of biblical proportions but this was a distant second or even third tops. Julian took a modicum of satisfaction in that though he knew given the scandalous look Frost was giving him he was going to face reprisals but he just didn't give a damn anymore.

He took a breath before facing Psylocke once more who gave him a neutral look, she didn't look upset at his actions but he wasn't a mind reader so he was just hoping he hadn't hurt his case.

In reality Betsy felt a modicum of respect for the boy, normally she would take anyone to task for disrespecting her teammates and friends, but in this case, she felt some humbling was in order. And given that Wolverine looks ready to deliver some comeback with the resident Cajun to back him up she decided to cut the teen a break.

*Now boys Hellion did not come here to be mocked for helping his friend, you got what you deserved for your disrespect so deal with it like men and not as children.* She telepathically broadcasts to everyone but Julian, after doing so she turns her attention to the young man before her.

"Can you tell me what it is she wishes to speak to me about?"

"It's not my story to tell Ms. Braddock just know that I wouldn't have gone through this if it wasn't important to her." He replies with all honesty which earned him a pensive look before she finally nods.

"Very well Mr. Keller, do you know where I can find her?" She found his visible relief rather humorous but did not voice it, she didn't know what the nature of their relationship was but she assumed it had to be substantial for him to go this far for her.

Looking at Emma she could easily spot a frown on her fine features.

*Emma stop trying to look into my head unless you want me to give you an up close and personal look off my psi-blades. * She sent at the woman earning a startled look from the before Storm called her out.

"Would it be all right if I join you Elizabeth? I have been meaning to speak with Laura and this may be my best chance." Her teammate asks politely making the psychic look at Julian in turn.

"Don't look at me, I'm just the messenger, if she wants to talk to Laura then I have no say." Julian replies honestly to her though also making sure Storm hears as well.

Betsy acknowledges this and thinks it over before nodding to the other woman earning a nod in return, Storm also thanks Julian before she and Psylocke begin to depart the group. Julian silently gives thanks to the violet-haired woman, though to be honest he didn't know what business Storm had with Laura but thought nothing of it as she seemed to genuinely want to help her so there was that at least.

Once the two were out of sight he moved to take flight but was prevented from doing so when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder and grips it with enough strength to make the teen know the man meant business.

"Wait just a damn minute punk…" Logan all but growls "…you got a lot of explaining to do, first being what is going on with Laura?"

Now in the past, Julian would admit, albeit when he was alone of course, that Wolverine scared the shit out of him. Starting back when he had been brainwashed by HYDRA/ The Hand which resulted in the death of his first mentor Northstar and while it somewhat lessened over the years it was always there in the dark recesses of his mind just what the man was capable of with those claws of his.

But that was the past and in its place was not fear of the man but anger that stemmed for a girl who he knew would hold it back then let it out. So, using that feeling he roughly shrugged him off much to the other man's surprise.

"Do not touch me and mind your own goddamn business." Julian spat with venom not caring what would come from his actions or words.

*I am _done_ taking their shit! * He thinks as he sees the other man ready to unload on him.

"What you say to me punk?" Logan's temper flares as he grabs a fistful of the teen's shirt and pulls him close. Though despite this Julian remains defiant as he looks at the older X-man with his own heated look.

"I know you heard me old man, or are you going deaf at your age?" He could tell none of the others expected that reaction, Rogue going so far as gasping in shock.

"Julian you are way out of line." Emma chides as she approaches in an effort to diffuse the situation and administer some discipline.

"Oh, I'm out of line? Really Frost?" Now that stopped her short, Julian had never taken that tone with her in all their time together.

*What the devil is going on here? * The blonde telepath wonders in growing worried while her lover scowls at the boy tone.

"That's enough Julian, I don't know what the hell is going on or why you are acting this way but it stops here and now." Cyclops orders as he separates the two men though keeping his eye on Logan in case the man's temper gets the better of him.

"I didn't start it but I sure as hell not taking the blame for it this time, besides I was just leaving so goodbye and good riddance." Hellion comments in seriousness while looking at the leader of the X-men.

"The hell you are Keller, you're not going anywhere until you answer my question." Logan once more chimes into the increasingly hostile talk.

"Or what? Are you going to call me out or maybe pop some claws? Go ahead and see how far that gets you!" He throws back with no remorse.

"Don't tempt me boy!" Logan shouts as back ready to dish out some punishment while Julian eyes started to glow green.

"That's enough out of both of you!" Rogue speaks as she gets between the two and separates them while Gambit back her up in case things really got out of hand.

"Now I don't know what is going on but it ends right now." The southern belle commands as she remains between the two.

"Fine by me, I was just leaving." Once more the young telekinetic tried to vacate the premises only to once more denied much to his growing exasperation.

"Not until you explain yourself." His former mentor ordered.

"Explain what exactly? I came to talk to miss Braddock because Laura wanted to talk to her, him and that other one…" he motions towards Logan and Remy "…decided that the idea of me doing a good deed for a friend was funny and got the bird flipped as they deserved. Ms. Braddock agreed with Ms. Munroe as a plus one then the angry hairy midget here decides to get in my face and try muscle in on where he isn't wanted or needed. End of story so with all that said I am leaving."

"Not until I get an answer you're not." Wolverine growled.

"Like you actually give a damn about her." Julian sneers at the other man who lunges at him and would have had Rogue and Gambit not caught him.

"You little shit! I do care."

"Bullshit! If you did you never would have let her stay on that kill squad you and the one-eyed wonder over there led!" That stopped the feral man short.

"What the hell are you on now?"

"You heard me, if you had actually cared you would have done everything to get her out of it, instead she had to go through the same hell she had tried to escape from those Facility bastards."

"I tried kid…" Logan tried to rally but was immediately cut off.

"Not hard enough you didn't, I heard stories about how you would move heaven and earth for Ms. Pryde or Ms. Lee but when it came to Laura what did you do? You failed that's what!" Logan actually recoils at those words.

"Julian that's enough." Cyclops interjects only to get a disdainful look from the young man.

"You butt out Summers, I'll get to you later because I have had it with you getting in my face!" He says to the man before rounding back to Logan.

"I want to know why? Why for the love of god didn't you get her out of that? Do you even know how much shit she has gotten because of it? Did you even talk to her after she was out of that team? I thought you cared enough to at least see how she was doing; I mean it's no wonder she is so confused about who she is that she is leaving this shit hole."

"What!? What do you mean she's leaving!?" At this point, neither Rogue or Gambit were capable of holding him back given his sudden burst of strength and their own surprise at the news. Hence Julian found himself being pulled towards the feral man who looked ready to do whatever it took to get answers.

*Crap, the cat's out of the bag now so I might as well go for full-on shock and awe. *

"Leaving as in going away from this floating death trap and just FYI? I'm going with her." He did a mental countdown from 5 and got to 3 before Emma flipped out.

"You most certainly will not!" The woman cried out as she began to really wish she could read his mind to better understand just what was going through his head. Cyclops gently held her while looking at the boy.

"Julian I can't for the life of me understand where this is coming from or why you and Laura are doing this but it is folly. You are exposing yourselves to who knows what types of dangers if you leave the safety of Utopia."

"Are you fucking mental?" Julian asks in a perfect deadpan that catches the other man off guard so seeing that Julian continues.

"We've gotten attacked by fucking Sentinels, goddamned Vampires, zombie X-men, scrotum chin aliens…hell, what's next? Demons? Maybe the fucking Avengers will have a go for I'll I know! So, if that's your idea of safety you just can take it and shove it up your ass because I am done, you hear me? D-O-N-E done!" At this point, Hellion was living up to his name as he marched right up to the man and jabbed his finger into his chest as he sneers at him.

"Besides it's not like any of you really care, do you? After all, I'm just a fuck up to you people, a disappointment not worth an iota of help." He sneers at them while making no effort to hide his bitterness and anger as he speaks. While he will admit his part in the current state of affairs, he will not forget their own part in this debacle.

"Isn't that right Summers? I mean for all the riot act you gave me it was thanks to Laura I could see that I went too far with Ms. Shapandar. The nightmares I get about it are proof enough but if you think you are any better than me you got another thing coming given the shit you've been up to."

"I am trying to keep us alive Hellion, hard choices had to be made in order to achieve that." The man points out, yes, he admits to himself the methods and choices he has undertaken are extreme and far from the ideals the team was founded on but their backs were against the wall.

"Yeah well sending out a kill squad has done wonders for that cause hasn't it? But you know what I don't give a shit about the people you've had offed, fuck them all I say. My problem is with you dragging Laura into that hell she was trying to escape; do you even realize how much you hurt her? Or are you so blind that people you are sending out to save us are getting fucked up in the process? Tell me something at what point did you stop caring?" Julian finally asks the man who stops short at the accusation.

"Hellion…" Scott tries to rally some response but is cut off by Emma.

"Julian, please let us just calm down and discuss this."

"…there is nothing to discuss." The boy coldly responds to his former mentor, Emma resists the urge to show weakness in the face of this latest debacle.

"I know that recent events have left you angry and disappointed in our ability to keep the island and its residents safe. I also realize that I have not been as supportive to you like in the past but I am asking you to please hear me out before you make a rash decision that could have dire consequences." The former headmistress asks of her wayward charged in hopes of preventing another student from suffering some ill-gotten tragedy.

Julian said nothing but did face her while wearing a neutral look on his face.

"Sorry Frost, but the fact of the matter is I just can't afford to place my trust in you anymore." That caught her off guard for sure as her face showed her shock. Julian, however, was not deterred by him it as he stood before the woman he once trusted much to his regret.

"I'm not that naïve little kid who used to pander to you in hopes of proving he had what it took to be an X-man…frankly if I could I would go back in time to tell my younger self to look the other way and tell you all to shove it where the sun don't shine." He spat venomously at them while still looking at her but addresses them all with his words.

"I have lost everything that matters to me because of the X-men." He continues as his fist tighten as memories begin to surface to the forefront of his mind and list them to them out loud.

"My goddamn parents disowned me because I chose to defend my friends and then they disappeared without a trace. Magneto's bitch of a daughter fucks our race over because he dropped the ball at being a dad. Brian was blown to smithereens by racists fucks. Cessily was tortured and experimented on. We get attacked by Sinister's goons. I lost my fucking hands to a Sentinel and later Kevin turns on us thanks to that cunt Selene."

"And where were you then? When I need guidance?" Hellion asks as he looks into her eyes seeing guilt slowly appear on her features. Sadly, for her, he was not deterred as he keeps pushing onward.

"Nowhere that's what! The last time we spoke was after I got my insides rearranged by Freddy Krueger's bastard child and you said the X-men were done before you then left me alone with no news on what happened to the others or what the fuck I was supposed to do! You just abandoned me like I was nothing!" Emma openly cringes at that; at the time she was not thinking straight given the tragedies that befell them in the wake of Hope and Cable's escape from Bishop.

"And now, now that I am leaving this shithole is when you want to talk? Bullshit Frost. I've sacrificed enough for you people and frankly, there is only one person I trust to watch my back and that's Laura so the rest of you can go to hell for all I care."

Hellion doesn't even bother to look at the woman as he moves to leave this time with no one to stop him. However, something compelled him to speak one last time to them.

"There was a time when I thought that the X-men were more than a super hero team fighting for our right to exist, I thought you all were like a family…but now? All I see is a group of broken people, acting behind each other's back, making choices that come back to haunt us, people getting hurt because of another's mistake."

"You don't act like heroes and you sure as hell aren't family anymore." Was all he had to say in the end as he takes to the air leaving the adults to wonder just what is to come. Honestly though he just couldn't find it within himself to care anymore, let them stew on his words and come to their own conclusions because quite frankly he was done with the X-men.

To be continued…

A/N: Well before people tan my hide, and I know some will because why not? I wrote this after going over the issues of Laura's X-23 solo series before her departure, the one issue where Hellion fought Karima and the aftermath plus others where he appeared. I honestly felt he got the short end of the stick and deserved to have a chapter where he vents his anger and frustration at them, I mean let's face it he has gone through hell what with getting infected by both the Legacy Virus and M-Pox, getting dissed by everyone and so forth.

I think the last time I actually saw him and not act all jaded was in the mini series with Spider-man where he is actually treated fairly…heck he even acted like a leader and friend again even if it was for a brief time. Don't know where he stands in the current run Hickman is leading but I hope for the best for the character and Laura now that she is back to using the X-23 moniker once more.

With that said I do wish you all many happy returns to you all and your loved ones and let us hope for a prosperous New Year to all.

Peace out from HOK!


	4. Chapter 4

To Love is to Heal: A Hellion & X-23 story.

A/N: I don't own anything you will read here.

Before we begin I have to ask any fellow writer of X-men fanfics, has anyone who has ever written a story involving Summers and/or Frost in either a good or bad light receive a massive info dump expelling the virtues of each and why they did what they did before, during and after AvX?

Because I have seen this happen on other stories of that nature and no sooner did I post the last chapter of this story when in less than 5 minutes I get several massive Guest reviews of just that. Needless to say, I found it a bit disturbing for me at least, I mean there is no way someone could read the chapter and have such reviews done in that length of time.

Just wanted to get that out of the way.

Let's get this show on the road!

"Speaking."

*Thoughts*

***SOUND EFFECTS***

_Locations._

-Communications. —

Chapter 4: Cutting ties part 3.

_Laura's quarters…_

While Hellion was venting his demons at the other senior X-men, Laura was being subjected to the mother of all hugs by Cessily having her arms wrapped around her in a way that would make a squid proud.

After the _altercation_ with Surge, the young feral had taken the two girls to her room in order to speak with them about her impending departure from Utopia. Needless to say, both had been dumbstruck at the news and more so when Laura explained that Hellion would be leaving with her.

Mercury being the more emotional of the two had promptly broken down and all but launched herself at the other girl, Laura being genuinely caught off guard by the teen as she wept into her shoulder while asking forgiveness. Laura looks at her other companion for guidance but like Cess she found Sooraya also, but not on the same level, shamed given her bowed head and gathering moisture around her eyes.

"We have failed you, both you and Julian." The Sunni girl comments sadly to her friend.

"I cannot speak for Julian but I was at just as much fault for keeping my reasons hidden and offering no explanation when asked."

***SNIFF!***

"But we pushed you away! We pushed both of you away!" Cessily cries miserably while she holds her soon to depart friend.

"We were teammates once Laura, yet more than that we became friends and dare I say even family. Yet when you both needed us, we abandoned you because we did not try to understand either of you or because we simply gave up on you." Dust eyes teared up in full now when the full realization of their mistakes finally struck.

When news of Laura and Josh being among the ranks of the deadly team called X-force as well as the rumored actions the aforementioned team took it was quite evident the former members of the New X-men were deeply disturbed.

Despite the fighting they all went through during the attacks by the Purifiers and later Bastion the teens still clung to their ideals and morality, yet to know two of their own did so felt like a slap in the face.

Noriko being the one who took the most exception to this and the one who predominantly demanded answers though with Josh soon leaving for parts unknown and Laura remaining silent and making no attempt to defend herself mostly because she felt she should be punished.

And then there was Julian, who they had tried to help out of his own misery when he lost his hands during Bastion's attack but when nothing seems to work they all finally gave up on him and even chided him when news came in regards to his actions against Ms. Shapandar.

*We were such fools! * The middle eastern girl thought in reproach of her actions while wondering how they could have let this happen to them.

It was at that point that someone knocks on her door.

"Laura? It's Betsy and Miss Monroe, can we come in?"

Surprise colored Laura's features which she found mirrored in both Cessily's and Sooraya's faces. Despite not wanting to let go of her Mercury did so in order for Laura to let the elder X-women inside all while wondering why they were here.

Both women stood in the doorway and politely waited for permission to enter from the girl they had come to visit, Laura soon grants them entry as she stands to the side and greets them each in turn as they enter where both take note of the other two girls in the room.

"Are we interrupting something? We can come back later if so." Ororo comments out of propriety since she doesn't want to just barge in on something private.

"No Ms. Munroe, you are not, though unexpected I have been hoping to speak with Ms. Braddock though in all honesty and with no offense intended to you Ms. Monroe I am at a loss as to why you are here, have I done something to warrant your attention?" Laura calmly asks the woman while trying to think if she had taking any actions lately to warrant a visit from a senior member of the team.

"Not at all Laura, I've just been meaning to speak to you after the debacle with Logan's demonic possession yet unfortunately I have not had the time to do so until Hellion came to us when we recently returned from a mission saying you needed to speak with Elizabeth."

That was another surprise for her and the other teens being that they had not expected for Hellion to take such a course of action.

"He is not in trouble, is he?" Mercury asks the two adults.

"Well, I don't think so though I fear things were rather tense between him and the others before we left." The psychic ninja speaks in all honesty to the girls.

"What others?" Dust asks with mild dread for her former teammate.

"Rogue, Gambit, Wolverine, Emma and Cyclops." Ororo answers though given the looks of nervousness on both of the girl's faces she can tell they are not happy to hear that.

"Oh, damn it all, why did it have to be those last three?" Cessily mutters while rubbing her eyes.

"Is Julian going to be all right?" Laura asks openly to the group, while she truly was thankful to him for getting Psylocke to come she doesn't want to see him get into trouble on her account.

Betsy sensed this and decided to first alleviate her young friend's concerns.

*Emma, is Julian still with you? * She sends it to her fellow telepath.

*…* No response.

*Emma is everything all right with you? *

*…* still nothing, she was about to try a third time when…

*…he's not here, he headed back to the compound. * Was the woman's neutral reply, though Elizabeth could almost feel something in the background.

*Are you all right? You sound off Emma. *

*I am fine Braddock, now if you will excuse me I have some urgent business to attend to. * Frost tone was terser this time before breaking the connection. For a moment Betsy debated whether to scan the minds of the others for answers but quickly discarded that idea.

"He's fine Laura though I feel something must have happened after we left." She replies to the group, being truthful to them and not just because Laura could tell when someone was dishonest but because she saw no point in sugarcoating the truth.

"I want to say it would be shocking but knowing Julian when he is on the warpath it really isn't." Cessily comments knowing how the boy can be when something riles him up, Dust nodding in agreement to her assessment.

"Be that as it may he still went out of his way to have me see you Laura so his intentions were noble, to say the least, though I will say his actions with the others were not entirely unfounded." Elizabeth says while sharing a look with Storm who silently agrees with her words.

"Why? What happened?" Sooraya asks while the other two girls wonder the same.

"Wolverine and Gambit thought it humorous when he said he was trying to do Laura a favor in thanks for setting him straight. Julian did not take kindly to that and responded in a less than respectful manner." Ororo tactfully comments to the trio rather than just tell them Julian flipped them the bird.

"Yeah, that sounds like Julian all right." Cess mutters as she rubs her face at the news.

"We've gotten off topic dears, now what is so urgent you needed to speak with me luv?" Psylocke asks as she looks at Laura expectantly but also kindly. Laura looked briefly nervous but took a moment to calm herself and motions for the woman to sit on her bed which she does while Laura sits opposite her.

"As you may or not be aware of, recent events took place that have left me feeling confused on who I am and what is my purpose. And because of these quandaries I have found myself struggling to find the answers I seek in Utopia as well as feeling out of place with the others due to my involvement with X-force and the nature of the missions we undertook."

Both women are silent when hearing this but no less worried for the girl, for while Betsy understood why Scott and Logan secretly undertook this decision of bringing back one of the more infamous of the X-teams back albeit in secret from the others, she was not at all pleased to hear of Laura's involvement with the group given her past with a similar yet much darker organization that had caused her so much pain and hardship.

Ororo for her part was both disappointed and somewhat angry when the truth was revealed about what Cyclops and Wolverine had done in secret as well as having teenagers be involved in something so sordid as a kill squad.

The logical part of her mind understood their justifications, after all it seemed that everyone wanted them dead and actions needed to be taken though she questioned the methods they had chosen in order to ensure their survival.

But her heart also was a factor when it came to the decisions and actions taken because it also felt like a betrayal for all they stood and fought for as X-men.

Needless to say, her relationship with both men had taken a heavy blow that had yet to fully heal and so hearing Laura speak of how her time in X-Force had done more damage left her feeling angrier at the two.

"Laura, if I may ask, why did you join X-Force?" Ororo asks the girl in an effort to better understand her thought process and perhaps even help her.

"I needed to protect my friends, if by joining X-force and completing the missions assigned to us I could accomplish this then the consequences were irrelevant so long as the primary goal was achieved."

Both women could see how this had distressed the two young girls, having surmised it was most likely due to guilt. They didn't blame them for it, it was their jobs as both senior X-men and mentors to look after their charges and ever since M-day (or Decimation as some had called it) they had been failing repeatedly and often with fatal consequences to the younger generation.

*And now here was Laura who had set out to do what they had not with no regards for her own physical and mental wellbeing. * Storm thinks to herself though apparently not quietly enough as Betsy picks up on this thought.

*And there lies the heart of the problem Ororo, she shouldn't had been in this position in the first place, we should have done more to protect them but instead we failed and they paid the price for our failures.* Psylocke mentally sends to her teammate with a mote of guilt and sadness coloring her thoughts.

If Betsy was being honest with herself, every once in a while, her dreams were plagued by memories of the night the Purifiers first struck at them by killing the former students on the bus that was to lead them to safety only to become a burning coffin of metal, glass and plastic.

Like the other remaining telepaths, she had felted the children's horrid death as the explosion consumed their bodies. Betsy would later admit to herself, while she emptied the contents of her stomach, that those who died instantly had been better off than those who had died more slowly due to either the intense fires that ravaged their bodies or the loss of blood due to shrapnel perforating them.

The day when Bastion launched his assault on Utopia with the Purifiers as part of his ranks, she had made no effort to quell her thirst for revenge as she laid waste to their ranks either by ripping their minds asunder or cleaving them into pieces with her TK enhanced sword.

Every single one she killed was another child she avenged for needless murder, if Scott had approached her with the offer to join X-Force she would have said yes in an instant however that did not happen and poor Laura was chosen because why not?

*After all she has the proper training, the vast and horrid experience and finally the right mindset to be a part of wet works team.* Psylocke thinks in utter bitterness and anger while resisting the urge to find Logan and Scott and make them relieve their most horrible memories until they groveled for forgiveness.

"Betsy your glowing." Ororo comments in order to break her out of her thoughts. The woman in question realized her anger was affecting her powers and immediately calmed herself before doing something rash.

"Apologies, I let my temper get the best of me." She says to the group before looking at her young friend and taking her hands into her own while looking at the young woman who had suffered so much with gentle look.

"There are no words to express how much I wish I could have spared you from all that pain and bloodshed. You are still young Laura and yet have been forced to witness so much ugliness and experience so much pain in your life yet despite all that you have risen from all that tragedy to become such a brave and kind woman." The psychic ninja cradled Laura's face while saying this with all the honesty and pride she could muster for her.

"I simply did not want anyone else to suffer as I did." The young feral replies making Storm approach her and place a hand on her shoulder in support.

"And that is what makes you a good person Laura despite your doubts of such, you show deep care for others however I will confess I wish you did not risk yourself so much or think it is your burden to carry. You are important to us too Laura, we want you to know that if you are in pain that you can come to us and we will do our best to help you because you are part of our family." The weather witch was earnest in her words to the young woman. Laura may not have shown it but she was deeply touched by them but still she had to stay the course.

"Thank you both for your words, truthfully they mean much to me, however there is something I must tell you that relates to seeking Elizabeth's presence." The raven-haired teen comments with some trepidation coming through her voice that made the two women wonder what could cause the normally fearless teen to waver.

"As I explained earlier I have been feeling doubts about myself due to my past actions and being considered somewhat an outcast among the group…as such I have come to the conclusion that in order to find the answers I seek I must do so outside the confines of the island."

The earned her a pair of wide-eyed looks from the two women who then looked towards one another in silent conversation, or at least that is how it looked like given that one was a telepath so for all the girls knew they were having an actual conversation.

Elizabeth was the first to break contact and look at Laura with a thoughtful expression before she placed her hands on her shoulders.

"Is this truly what you want Laura?"

"Yes, I am certain that this is the path I must take."

"And does this mean that Julian will join you in this journey of self-discovery?" This time Ororo asks her.

"That is correct, when I mentioned to him my intentions, he requested to join me stating that he too felt ostracized given the events that took place with Ms. Shapandar while also pointing out the lack of safety Utopia can provide given the attacks we have suffered in the past."

Both women winced at that tidbit of news both Cessily and Sooraya note, not they blamed them as they too reacted in a similar manner.

*He's not wrong in that. * Both women think with regret.

"And you agreed to his request then?" Now it was Betsy's turn to ask her to which she nods.

"He was not wrong in his assessment as Utopia has been attacked from multiple foes ranging from Sentinels to Vampires. Each attack resulting in either multiple wounded or casualties that were personal in nature such as when the former Black Queen Selene raised fallen X-men to attack us or when Jubilee was turned into a vampire by the forces under the command of Xarus."

Well it didn't get more personal than that all four women concluded. Seeing what became of Kevin was a devastating blow to both Dust and Mercury, especially the latter who had once harbored a crush on him during better times.

While for Storm and Psylocke who had history with Jubilee were quite hurt at what was done to her and now what she must do to survive being now required to subsist on Logan's blood to live and diminish the thirst lest she harm an innocent because of it.

"I cannot say he is wrong in feeling that way, despite our best efforts we have not had the best of luck in completely securing our safety." Storm glibly comments as she would be bringing this up when she met with Cyclops later…after giving him the riot act of course.

"We also can't ignore the fact that you both needed help either in dealing with the trauma as in the case of Hellion or just be there to talk to like in your case Laura." Psylocke adds as she speaks to her young friend.

*Survival won't mean a damn thing if we can't even save each other in the long run. * was he line of thinking as she feels guilty for not being a better friend.

"Does this mean you are not opposed to our departure?" Laura can't help but ask.

"I can't speak for Ms. Braddock or Ms. Munroe but if you think this is what is best for you both then it would be wrong of us to stop you even though a part of me wants you to stay so I can make up for it." Mercury confesses while Dust nods in agreement to her friend's words.

"I agree with her, believe it or not I too have been in your place back when I first joined the team and I know just how hard it can be to have doubts about who you are and your place in the world." The psychic ninja comments while she briefly thinks back when she had her mind transferred into the body of Kwanon, the experience was quite jarring and for a time left her wondering if she was even her anymore.

"Just remember one thing Laura, no matter what you will always have a place among us and you will always have people who care about you." Storm says with both conviction and care that the young woman although found surprising given the lack of interaction between them still was deeply appreciated.

"Thank you, all of you, for understanding why I must do this."

"Just try to stay safe and keep an eye on each other." Sooraya comments to her friend.

"Definitely keep an eye on Julian, lord knows the trouble he can get into when unsupervised." Cessily says in jest to mask her sadness at their leaving.

"I do not believe he intentionally gets into trouble; he has also been very supportive of my decision as evidenced by him speaking to Psylocke on my behalf." Laura replies to her friend feeling a need to speak on Hellion's behalf though not entirely sure why, Betsy raised an eyebrow at that before she decided to have a bit of fun to lighten.

"Oh? Is there something going on between the two of you?" Betsy doesn't bother hide the mischief in her voice as she looks at the girl now sporting a confused look that just made her look adorable in her eyes.

"Trust me Ms. Braddock, the level of UST between these two is so thick you would need a chainsaw built with adamantium to even make a dent." Cessily comments while Laura looks at Sooraya and mouths UST to her, the Sunni born girl despite not indulging in American slang knew what that meant and blushed while wondering how to explain it to her.

"It means you have unresolved sexual tension for Hellion and he feels the same." Betsy spoke up as she felt the girl's embarrassment and reluctance to reply to her friend.

"Elizabeth!" Storm shouts at the blunt reply the woman gives, Betsy in turn shrugs in return.

"…Julian wishes to have sexual intercourse with me?" Laura can't help but blurt out with a tinge of red on her cheeks.

"Well I wouldn't go that far yet Laura, I mean he more than likely does find you attractive." Sooraya comments as she tries to direct the conversation into safer waters.

"Of course, he does I mean if I was a guy or lesbian, I would go for her." Cessily blabs though later flushes, although how that works given her composition is anyone's guess, when the others look at her with a questioning look.

"Is this really the time for this conversation?" Ororo questions, not that she is against it mind you but rather finds herself wondering how this conversation is taking place at all.

"Well of course it is Ororo, this will be the last chance we have to engage in some girl talk with Laura before she departs. Now Laura how do you feel about Julian?" Elizabeth asks her friend to keep the conversation going because frankly she wanted to leave from this with something positive.

The girl in question gave it some thought because frankly when it came to her feelings about him there was just so much random thoughts involved that she quite honestly couldn't make heads or tails about where she stood with him.

"I am left confused."

"How so?" Storm asks seeing as there was no way out of it so she might as well offer the girl council.

"When we first encountered one another at the school our relationship was none existent. He was hostile towards me and I was for the most part indifferent but…"

"Take your time Laura." Dust speaks as she wants her friend to get her thoughts together.

"After our battle against Nimrod something changed, while I was in deep pain my mind was still aware of my surroundings and I could see how desperately he wanted to save me. He said he didn't want to bury more friends, which was confusing to say the least as I was not aware of it at the time at least, that he considered me such."

"Then as more time passed, I found myself desiring his attention without truly understanding why." Laura remembered how confused she felt during those times, back when she worked as a prostitute, she had to force herself to accept her clients attention despite what they would do to her.

But with Julian she felt a pull towards him she could not explain, logically her mind told her she found him physically pleasing but when it came to her emotions, they were all over the place. She still remembers how displeased she felt when Noriko kissed him and what it made her do to herself in the bathroom before Cessily caught her in the act.

"And in the aftermath of Bastion's attack on the island, when I heard that Julian had been one of the wounded, I rushed to his side to make sure he lived, as I did so I felt a heavy weight upon me."

"Like someone was squeezing your heart?" Mercury calmly asks her and getting a nod in turn from her friend.

*She has it bad all right. * the redhead couldn't help but think.

"What about after the incident with Karima? Did you feel anything different for him then?" Dust questions as that event had been a point of contention for many of the former New X-men.

"I did not have an opinion on the matter as the facts presented in the briefing showed that immediate action needed to be taken in order to protect Hope from an imminent threat when all other defenders save Hellion were taken down by Karima."

"However, when I spoke with Hellion it was clear he was traumatized by the event in question yet was not provided any emotional support from senior members or psychological help. This worried me as he clearly showed remorse for it and so when the opportunity to help him deal with this issue presented itself, I was pleased." She smiled a bit at this, after helping he had been in a better mood and spent more time with her in private which made her happy.

While the women where not happy to hear the young man had issues with what happened they were happy that Laura stepped up to the task of helping him.

"Well it seems clear to me that you do have feelings for the young man, and given how far he went out of his way to help there is a good chance he reciprocates them." Laura can tell Psylocke is honest in her words which cause her to blush much to the other woman's amusement.

"Course he does, I mean the way he is treating Laura is way better than when he went out with Sofia, so Laura you need to take advantage of this." Cessily firmly states to her friend with a look of utmost seriousness.

"Advantage?" Laura can't help but asks with a look of confusion.

"Yep, you need to strike while the iron is hot and tell him how you feel about him." That got a blush out of the normally stoic girl.

Elizabeth while silently agreeing decided on a different approach as she gained the girls attention by placing a comforting hand on Laura's shoulder.

"Laura I can understand that all that you are feeling right now is sudden and confusing, especially given your lack of knowledge when it comes to feelings of this nature, but take it from someone who has had her fair share of romantic triumphs and follies." The psychic ninja spoke calmly while her young friend made sure to pay utmost attention to her words.

"Love of this nature is without a doubt quite daunting and even a bit scary, you don't know what will happen today, tomorrow or anytime and feelings can go from fierce to tepid without you even knowing until it is too late to do anything about it." Laura was riveted by her friend's words and that is when Ororo decided to chime in as well.

"Elizabeth speaks the truth Laura; I have had my fair share of experiences over the years with some that were merely platonic and friendly while others were as fierce as a hurricane. It is not easy to open yourself up to someone, because it means to give this person your trust and your heart in the hopes that they fill a void you never knew you had." Storm recalled so many men in her life who had given her such feelings such as Forge, Kurt and most recently her husband T'Challa.

"And it is true there is a chance you can come out hurt should this person not reciprocate your feelings but despite that risk the rewards merit the attempt. So, you have to ask yourself if your feelings for Julian are strong enough for you to take that leap of faith? Or do you remain wondering what could have been? Because I speak from experience when I say there isn't a time where I do not wonder that if circumstances had been different would have I been able to tell the one I cared for what I felt for him." Sooraya comments as she recalls her unrequited feelings from Jay Guthrie and the regret of not pursuing a relationship with him when he was still with them.

"Or like me with Kevin, sometimes I visit his grave and ask why couldn't I save him or even wonder if I had been more upfront about my feelings for him things wouldn't have gone the way they did for him in the end." Cessily adds with a bit of melancholy at the mention of the fallen Hellion.

"…you have all given me much to think upon." Laura says after going over their words.

"That's good Laura, no need to rush into so sudden after all. Now let's discuss more what your plans are leaving Utopia and perhaps offer any advice that may help you both ok?" Storm kindly spoke to her as they began to talk things over.

While she remained committed to her eventual departure alongside Julian, she would always treasure this moment and the women who made it all the more special for her. She would also take their words in regards to her feelings seriously before meeting up with Julian

_Later that night…_

Julian found her sitting at what he considered to be her favorite spot, a hidden little cove near the beach where you could see San Francisco in all its glory day and night. It was further down from where the younger mutants gathered for bonfires at night after a long day of work to maintain the habitat in working condition.

She knew he was nearby when the wind brought his scent to her and it made her heart beat a little faster, especially after her talks with her friends.

"Hey Laura, things go well with your talks?" He asks as he sits next to her on the sand.

"Yes, they did, Cessily and Sooraya accepted my explanation for my actions on X-Force as well as my reasons for leaving the island alongside you…" She paused briefly as she briefly wonders if she should say what was on her but in the end saw no harm in trying.

"…they also showed remorse for not helping you sooner."

That was a bit of news that quieted the young man next to her, discreetly looking at him from the corner of her eye she could see the conflict in him.

"May I offer you advice Julian?" She suddenly says much to his surprise.

"Sure Laura."

"I know that you have felt hurt by their actions or lack thereof, however the path we are about to embark on may not leave little or no room at all for second chances with those who are deserving of them. If they Cessily and Sooraya are open to talk then would it not be best to obtain some semblance of closure and perhaps the chance to mend the rift between you before we leave?"

Julian went over her words while having a mental debate on talking with the former Hellion/New X-men, on the hand his anger and hurt at being cast aside by them seem to take center stage but given his recent actions to apologize to those he felt he had wronged such as Karima and Celeste.

"I will talk to them before we leave, clear the air between us before some other crazy shit happens to stop me." He finally conceded to the young feral who nodded in turn while happy she could contribute in mending their rift.

"I'm glad you tell me these sort of things Laura; it means a lot to be honest with you and tells me I was right to trust you after all the crap I've gone through and done." He tells her with a smile that did things to her stomach and made her mind wander back to her talks with the ladies.

"I am… simply repaying you for helping me speak with Elizabeth, you did not have to go out of your way to do so but you did me that kindness so it is only fair I help you as well Julian." She confesses with a hint of pink on her features.

He just shrugs and grins.

"We are in this together Laura; you watch my back and I watch yours." He says before looking out to sea, not noticing the girl is still looking at him thoughtfully before also looking in the same direction though her mind was still replaying her talks about her feelings towards the young man on her left.

"Julian…" she finally says after coming to a decision she hopes ends on a positive note.

"Yeah Laura?"

"May I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Are you attracted to me?"

That stopped his thought process short and then kicked it into overdrive.

*Oh crap! Why would she ask me that!? Did I stare at her too long!? Did she smell something!? What do I do!?* He asked himself internally over and over.

***GULP!***

"W-why would ask that?" He nervously asks her in a way that made him feel like he was back at the school for the first time.

"From your body's natural reaction to my close presence such like an elevated heartbeat, increase perspiration at times and you emit phenomes indicating you find me desirable." She analytically conveys as she is known to do at times.

*Hell yeah I find you desirable! * His libido seems to scream at him as he did give her a once over as she spoke of his attraction to you.

"Well it is kind of hard not to given how pretty you are Laura." He blurts out suddenly making his face heat up and her blush.

"I think you are pretty too as well Julian." She replies and he clamps down on the urge to correct for calling him pretty and focus more on the fact she finds him appealing though he then remembers one smile detail.

"Even if I have these now?" He asks as he raises the artificial appendages that were now his hands. She in turn takes them into her own with no fear or disgust on her face as she looks into his blue eyes and he looks into her emerald ones.

"They do not detract me from feeling physically attracted to you Julian." Laura didn't know it but those words did wonders for Julian.

"Thanks…though now I wish I had real hands to feel your hands in mind." Laura could tell that despite his joking tone there was a hint of sadness in it.

"Julian, would you please close your eyes for a moment?"

Quirking an eyebrow at the sudden and somewhat odd request he nods before doing so. She left his hands be and raised hers towards his head, for a brief moment she hesitates before going through with her plan and gently places then on his face.

To say Julian was surprised by her actions was putting it lightly as his eyes snapped open to stare at her flushed face, yet despite this she did not remover hands.

"Will this suffice?"

Julian was still a bit to stunned and a little embarrassed to reply so instead he just took a deep breath and closed his eyes once more before he leaned into her touch. It wasn't the same as if he had hands but he would admit it felt nice nonetheless. As Laura continued her actions, he tried to memorize the feel of her skin, the gentle pressure she used and even her scent. Little by little he felt at peace and even gave a smile that showed his content.

Laura in the meantime was marveling at the feel of his face in her hands, its texture, the feelings that came as he leans further into her hands while also taking in the relaxed look he wore as she caressed his face in such a private moment. Finally, something inside her broke and before she knew it she cupped his jaw and leaned forward.

Feeling her lips on his was mind-blowing to say the least, Julian eyes took in her face as she kissed him with her eyes closed and fluttering. Briefly Laura worried she had overstepped her bounds when he did not react to her kiss but then she felt his arms pull her close and deepen the contact between the two in such a way that she practically melted on the spot as she also hugged him closer to her own body and relishing the contact that came with it.

Time held no meaning for these two children of the Atom while the stars bared witness to beginning of something that had been a long time in the making. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity the two broke contact while they tried to regain their breath and stared into one another's eyes.

"_Wow._" Julian could only say as he looked at the young woman who had him done so much for him.

"Indeed." Laura heart was racing so fast she thought she would suffer a heart attack. She was no stranger to kissing being a former prostitute but where in the past she was disgusted by the act yet here and now with the boy who she had developed feelings for all she wanted was to experience the feeling of his lips on hers and all that came with it.

Hellion must have the same because he just could help but lean in for another go and Laura was not going miss out on this. They didn't know what challenges or dangers were to come as they embarked on this journey but what they would each come to realize is that it would matter little so long as they had one another during those moments.

To be continued…

A/N: So now it is official and they are together, what follows next is sort of a retelling of X-23 storyline before she joined up the Avengers Academy just with Hellion in the mix. Will be a challenge no doubt but what isn't nowadays? One thing I do plan to do is get rid of Kimura sooner rather than later, bitch definitely needs to die for all the horrible things she has done to Laura.

With that said…PEACE OUT!


End file.
